Member Musings features the reflections and thoughts of an NPC member
A New Olympic Sport
Iris Shur
My battery died the other day. Unfortunately, I had to wait two hours before the AAA truck came to replace it. Fortunately, this happened right in front of a women’s upscale clothing store. My friends think this is the funniest story yet, since they know that shopping is my middle name.
Be that as it may, shopping is not a sport for everyone. In fact, you may know people who absolutely hate to shop. Probably as much as I dislike football, basketball, baseball, tennis—in fact, any other sport you can name. If they had a competition in shopping, however, I would win hands down.
Probably the toughest shopping endeavor is bathing-suit browsing. Any woman who can find a flattering yet relatively inexpensive bathing suit should win a gold shopping medal for sure.
But another less publicized shopping division is in purse purchasing. You have no idea how difficult it is to find just the right purse. I will lead you through the required parameters.
First of all, you have to determine what color purse you want. Purses come in every color you can imagine and some come in plaids or florals and other prints. If you are going to carry just one purse every day, you have to pick a color that will consistently complement your wardrobe.
Once you have determined the color, you must decide on the fabric. Leather is a common choice but purses come in fake leather, fur, suede, microfiber, patent leather, silk and a myriad of other coverings. The weight of the purse is another important consideration. If you are going to carry the purse all over Europe, you want it to be lightweight to begin with. After a while, as it fills with maps, guides, cameras, and snacks, it can end up a hefty 20 pounds.
With color, weight and fabric confirmed, the external nature of the purse comes up for consideration. Do you want an outside zippered pocket? Do you want a zipper as a closure? How about a snap? Do you want a short handle? Do you want a strap that will cross your body for protection against purse snatchers? Do you want a strap that will hold the bag on your shoulder? Do you want a backpack style or one that attaches to your waist?
It is a good thing that I eat high carbs before beginning a purse-purchase episode. As you can probably tell already, you need an awful lot of endurance. But don’t relax, there is more.
Purse configuration is by far the most intricate part of purse-purchase competition. Do you want a section that holds credit cards so you don’t need a separate wallet? Do you want several zippered internal compartments? Or, if you are not as structured, will a large, central, undesignated repository do for you?
One day I managed to buy a purse at a department store in only 20 minutes. That was the amount of time allotted to me by my husband, who was anxious to get home for a golf game on TV. By now you realize that twenty minutes must be an all-time record for purse purchasing and, if life was fair, a gold medal would now hand around my neck.