Member Musings: Iris Shur

Member Musings features the reflections and thoughts of an NPC member.

THREE FOR ONE

This morning I spent an hour looking for my makeup bag. I always keep it in my bathroom next to the sink, but this morning it wasn’t there. “Impossible,” I said to myself.

So the search began with no clue as to where I could have put it. Every room was searched over and over, cupboards and drawers opened as my frustration increased.

Perhaps you have seen pictures of movie stars without makeup. On the computer news stories and in magazines, they often feature the “nude faces” of celebrities. Even with makeup, I come nowhere close to these beauties. Without makeup, I can’t leave the house. It was imperative that I find my makeup.

Actually, those pictures of famous beauties sans makeup are among my favorites. I savor every blemish revealed. At least they get closer to resembling ordinary people.

My husband was enthralled with the Bay Watch bathing beauty Pamela Anderson. One day her picture on the computer showed up without makeup. She actually looked a lot older and not quite so beautiful. His ardor for her cooled when he saw her “before” picture.

Perhaps some of you saw the movie “The Bucket List.” The film depicts two men who make a list of things to do before they “kick the bucket.”  Well, after my husband saw that movie, he took the compilation of a bucket list very seriously. A date with Pamela Anderson was number one on his list. I didn’t mind. It wasn’t going to happen anyway!

One of his friends, who was privy to the bucket list, wanted to help Jim fulfill his desires. Although he could not get Jim a date with Pamela Anderson, he scoured Craig’s List to find a cardboard standee of the actress. I guess he thought that was the next best thing.

There was only one available for sale. It was in Oregon. The friend lived in Massachusetts. He made arrangements for the man in Oregon to take the standee to a mailing place to be wrapped and sent out at our friend’s expense. It was mailed to our friend’s father’s home on the east coast of Florida. Our friend flew to see his father, picked up the standee, drove to Naples on Alligator Alley and rang our doorbell. Standing next to him was “Pamela Anderson.” You can be sure it was a great surprise for my husband.

Our friend took pictures of Jim and “Pamela” the standee, and you could swear that she was really standing next to him. The friend then wrote to Pamela’s press person and got Jim an autographed picture of her which he sent to Jim.

Another day a package came to the door from Boston. Inside was a huge slab of roast beef on the bone, Boston baked beans, corn bread and apple pan dowdy, along with a red and white checked tablecloth. The same friend had, with much difficulty, managed to get the famous Boston restaurant, Durgin Park, to send Jim the dinner he had listed on his bucket list.

When I called the restaurant to find out how best to reheat the roast beef, the woman I spoke to told me that in the two-hundred-year history of Durgin Park they had sent out a meal only one other time. She said that Jim’s friend was so insistent that they had to give in to him.

If you have ever been to Durgin Park you know that, in the old days, the waitresses were surly to the customers. That was part of the charm. So, while we ate the dinner in our home, I made sure to insult Jim—in a nice way, of course—so he would have the whole Durgin Park experience. He was thrilled.

I started writing this piece about finding my makeup and ended up with Pamela Anderson and Durgin Park. When you write creatively, you never know where the muse will take you. My mind took a few u-turns today, but I think I can tie things up for you.

I finally found my makeup. It was in the car. Yesterday I had my annual dermatology checkup, and because I wanted the doctor to see any possible problems on my face, it wore nothing but a smile. As soon as the appointment was over, I applied my makeup then totally forgot to bring in the makeup case from the car when I returned home. As an aside, I’d like to remind everyone to get skin checks at least once a year.

Creativity, fond memories and a public service announcement, you get three for one today. I’ll bet Pamela Anderson can’t do that!